Baby Blue
by Remembering-Tate
Summary: Kate remembers The child she lost. Established Tate relationship but Kates Pov DEDICATED TO MY LITTLE BROTHER playing with the angels in heaven I will never forget you.


**Hey, Guys i am having a little writers block on my Love in Lamaz and The Joys stories but i have half finished chapters for both of them so hopefully they should be up soon (next 2-4 days)**

**This Story is very near to my heart my mother lost a child and no one ever found out why, seeing her go through it was so hard i am dedicating this story to my Little brother i never got to know.**

**May You rest in Peace**

_**I am not asking for reviews if you would like to comment or say something please do though.**_

Blue... That was all she thought about today it ahd been a year, a whole year since her life had been shattered a whole year since her 'perfect' life had been broken.

It used to be her favorite color but not now.

Things had been going so well, And she could still remember when they had found out.

She had been so nervous Kate sighed as a tear trailed down her cheek, remembering.

_"Tony" She started nervously twisting the wedding ring on her slender finger._

_"What?" He questioned looking at her concerned "Are you okay"_

_"I'm fine...well i have some news" She continued her throat feeling dry_

_"Whats wrong?" he had said alarmed "are you sick"_

_"Only in the mornings" She murmered_

_"Wait what... You mean..."_

_She had nodded not being able to contain the grin on her face_

_He had picked her up and spun her around, with her squealing to put her down._

_"Oh my god!" Tony stammered "I'm going to be a dad" _

_Kate had watched him and the goofy grin on his face with a matching one on hers. and for the first time in her life she had felt complete._

Shaking her head to rid herself of the memory she was then assualted by another. From when it all went wrong.

_It had been a normal Day at the bullpen a six-month pregnant Kate had been standing in front of the plasma explaining some case files a hand on her large stomache rubbing it affectionatly when a pain had ripped through her._

_Falling to her knees her hands clutching her stomache she remembered the pain then it all went black from what she had been told. Tony, Ducky and Gibbs had been at her side in an instant while Tim had called an ambulance and Abby had ran to get the director. _

_They had rolled her onto her back and where trying to wake her when the had noticed the blood. It had spread forming itself into a patch on her light colored jeans._

_Gibbs had spotted it first, his normally expressionless face turning a shade paler, he might have not be a doctor but he had known that blood coming from a pregnant person was not good, Ducky had some idea of what was happening and he prayed that somehow their unborn child would make it through but he knew the statistics._

_Tony had gone on auto-pilot feeling numb until it hit him later at the hospital._

More tears trickled down Kates face remembering the scene at the hospital she had regained consiousnes in the ambulance and one of the first things she had noticed ws the blood on her pants that the paramedics had cut away. She had asked what was going on but noone anwsered her. After arriving at the hospital she had been rushed away for tests and when they where finished the results where in the doctor came to her room.

_Tony had been trying to comfort her when he had came, the look on his face said it all._

_She had tuned out barely listening to his words of "Nothing wrong" and "It just happens" after he had told them that their unborn child would never take their first breath. Tears had just rolled down her cheeks, much like they are now and Tony had sat in silence._

_They had to induce her, to give birth she was to far along for anything else and a c-section was not recomended._

_She had not thought she would be able to do it but Tony had held her hand patiently listening to her heart wrenching cries, just murmering for her to push every now and again._

_At last it had all been over and the midwife had wrapped him up in a little blue blanket handing him to the grieving parents with a tight smile._

_They had decided to name him James and now holding the small bundle she had decided it fit perfectly. They where given a couple of minutes before he was wisked away and after Tony had held him and she had given him one last cuddle she handed him to the doctor her arms immidiently aching for him._

Blue... thats all she thought. it was the color of the blanket that held him, the nursery that was awaiting him at the home he would never go to and the thing that chilled Kate the most it was the color of him.

The others had know she was broken in the months following what happened they had been waiting down the hall when they had heard her sobs and later when they heard her screams following the orders of push. Everyone tip-toed around her for the first couple of months but now things where almost back to normal but then again normal would never be normal again.

Staring up at the blue balloon she was holding she gently let the string slide through her fingers up towards the sky.

"Good bye James" she whispered turning and making her way back to the others who where waiting for her at the other side of the park "I'll never forget you".

**dedicated to my little brother. Playing with the Angels for ever. love your big sister Georgia**


End file.
